The Dimensions of Forgiveness

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Now we look at this passage, and what we're seeing is that it's it's really a tough passage and it actually really raises some questions. You know, one of the questions that we looked at last week, kind of introduction is when it when Jesus says, you know, if you do not forgive those who your you know their trespasses, neither will your father forgive you.

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And we've got to ask, where does this teaching is it teaching that that are forgiven? Being forgiven by God is in some way dependent upon our first forgiving other people. I mean, is that what is teaching and how? So again, look at verse 15. I mean, this is strong. If you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your heavenly father forgive you your trespasses.

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Now I'll say right off the bat, because we need to be really clear. It's not saying that you have to do the work of forgiveness in order to be saved. It's not saying that Jesus death on the cross and faith in Jesus isn't enough, but you have to add to that or that you can lose your salvation. We know that.

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It's not saying that because that would disagree with the rest of the Bible, and the Bible doesn't agree or disagree with itself, but clearly it's teaching that there is some connection between our willingness to forgive others and our experience of God's forgiveness in our own lives. It's an important issue, and we looked at that and to try to understand it.

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We've also seen last week that that part of the question is who is God calling us to forgive? Are we called only to forgive those who acknowledge their sin and ask for forgiveness? Or are we called to forgive everyone unconditionally? Everyone who has, who's wronged us? And one of the things that I shared last week is I studied the Bible, so I reflected on this.

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Now, I really increasingly believe that when the Bible talks about forgiveness, it talks about two different types of dimension or forgiveness, or two different dimensions. They're clearly related. They're connected to each other. We're going to see that this morning. But they're also distinct. And one of the reasons that people have such confusion about the issue of forgiveness is a lot of times we understand one part of this forgiveness.

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And then and then we apply the rules across the board. And there is a difference. So if we were to say almost two different dimensions of forgiveness, on one hand there's the first dimension, the first level at one level, we are to forgive everyone who has wronged us unconditionally. In one sense, we're to forgive everyone who is wrong to sin, regardless of whether they've asked for forgiveness, whether they've acknowledged what they've done is wrong, even if they are still in the process of wronging us.

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And again, like, let me go to Luke chapter six. Look what Jesus says here in Luke 627 but I say to you, who here love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who persecute you or curse you, pray for those who abuse you. And what are you saying? I'm called to love my enemies. I'm called to do good to those who still hate me.

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To pray for those who are trying to curse me into love in this way means that I have to release my anger. I have to release my desire for justice to try to get them, you know, back in that I need to forgive them unconditionally. And we see this kind of forgiveness exemplified in Jesus. So, for example, we have in Luke 22, Jesus is on the cross and and he's looking at the people who are in the process of mocking him and the process of torturing him, of killing him.

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And look at what he says. And Jesus said, father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. He's forgiving unconditionally. These aren't people that in any way repented in any way, so they're in the process of doing it. And yet he forgives unconditionally. Now, I understand that this is difficult. You know, it's it's it's it's difficult.

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And to understand why it's difficult. We've realized that forgiveness like this is, is seen in the kind of in relationship to a debt that somebody wrongs us. So even in the Lord's Prayer, what does Jesus teach us to pray? Father, forgive us our debts as we also forgiven our debtors. It's a debt, and so unconditional forgiveness in a sense, if we understand it in terms of a debt, release the person from the punishment and debt we believe that they are owed incurred by their sin.

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A person has wronged us, and so we feel there's a debt of justice. We need to feel like there's they need to do something. Something needs to happen to make things right. You know, our anger can be a kind of revenge. We can get them back, or we can hold on to that anger. And through our anger and resentment, you know, we're kind of giving the interest and and reserving the right to punish them sometime in the future.

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And the first level of forgiveness, unconditional forgiveness is releasing that person from that debt. And God calls each one of us to unconditionally forgive all the people who have wronged us. But this kind of forgiveness is only the first level of forgiveness. Now, if there hasn't been any confession, repentance, asking for forgiveness, that's all the further we can go.

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But God does call us at times to seek to go deeper. And this deeper level of forgiveness builds on that. But it's another level where we are to forgive those who have asked for forgiveness. And this is conditional. It's a forgiveness that is, again, based on the condition of their acknowledgment of their sin asking for forgiveness. And there are places in the Bible that speaks about forgiveness in this condition away.

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So, for example, in Luke chapter 17, look at what Jesus says there. If your brother sins, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him. He if sins against you seven times in a day and turns to you seven times, saying, I repent, you must forgive him. So who are we called to forgive the people that repent? The people that ask for forgiveness.

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And so it's a conditional forgiveness. We're to do the first level regardless. But this level, we can only go there if the other person acknowledges her wrong. And you know, what's interesting is when you look in the Bible, there are passages that speak about God's love and God's forgiveness on a conditional basis. So, for example, in first John chapter one, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

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There's a condition we have to confess our sins we have to acknowledge were wrong. Now, the second level includes everything. At the first level. It includes, you know, releasing the debt. But it goes beyond it because conditional forgiveness not only releases the debt that we feel that it's due us. It also then seeks to restore the relationship that was broken by sin.

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The key is not just, you know, releasing the debt. It's seeking its focus on relationship, seeking to restore it. Why? Because what happened is it's through the sin. A relationship was broken. Trust was broken. That can only be restored conditionally when the other person is willing to admit they're wrong and ask for forgiveness. Now we're going to dive deeper into this part of forgiveness next week.

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And, and again, it's we're going to find it hard. It's much it's difficult as it can be to unconditionally forgive those who have wronged us and release this debt. There are times that we then say, well, do I need to restore that relationship? That could seem harder, even more difficult. But the Bible's clear on this. We need to do this.

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Look again in Luke chapter 17. We wrote a moment ago if your brother sins, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times a day and turns to you seven times saying, repent, you must forgive him. It's not like, well, you should think about it. No you must. This is a call that God is calling us to do.

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Or we look in Matthew 615, the passage main passage we're looking at. If you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your heavenly father forgive you your trespasses. Again, this is really important. It's it's significant. But to understand it, we have to step back, because again, what we said is this conditional forgiveness built on unconditional love. Level one.

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So let's go back and think about this unconditional forgiveness okay. Again, as we said, it's releasing a debt that we feel the other person has wronged us. What happened? Somebody wrongs us. We feel that there's a loss and there is you know, most of the time it's not money. Most of the time it's, you know, loss and traumatic memories, loss and pain and suffering.

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You had dreams of what you hope your life would be and and the person what they did, they took those dreams away from you. You know, you've lost reputation or you've lost some opportunity to. You never have again. And there's a sense of a loss and therefore there's a debt. You feel it. The other person owes you. And forgiveness is releasing that.

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It's saying, you hurt me, you caused me a loss, but I'm releasing the debt. You don't owe me anything. You I you know, there's no repayment that's due. And again, God's called us to forgive everyone unconditionally. He's called us to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us and unconditionally. We're called to do this. Why?

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Because God has forgiven us. And so when you think about the basis of doubt, everything is built on the fact that God calls us to forgive because he has forgiven us. The whole message of the Bible is centered around the fact that we were separated by God from God by our sins. There's nothing we could do to fix the problem.

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And God made a way. There was a debt that was paid. And what happened? He paid the debt. Jesus Christ came and at the cross took our sins, took the penalty for the sins, and he paid our debt at great cost to himself. So Second Corinthians, for example, talks about this for our sake. He made him to be sin who knew no sin, that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

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He became sin so that we could be forgiven, so we could have a relationship with Christ. But the Bible teaches not only that we have faith through Jesus Christ on the cross so that we can have our sins forgiven. But when we then have been forgiven by God, we have relationship with God. One of the side effects of that should be we then don't learn to likewise forgive those who have wronged us.

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So Ephesians 432 be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God and Christ forgave you. We forgive as we have been forgiven, and so the church should be a place where we not only talk about the theology of forgiveness and we say, God wants to forgive you. And and we preach that. And no matter what you've done, God forgive can forgive you because his grace is greater than your sin.

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But it also is a place that once we understand that, that we then learn to forgive other people. That should be normal for followers of Christ, because we forgive as people who have been forgiven. But still, it's hard to do, isn't it? It's nearly impossible. And it's not only that we see the basis, but also the power. See, when when Jesus is giving us this teaching here in the word, in the Lord's Prayer, it's in the context of a prayer.

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And so he's not saying you shall do it, but he's saying, no, come to me and ask me for the ability to do it. And so we talked about that last week. You know, it's it's a it's something that we come to God and say, God, I know you're calling me to do, I can't forgive. Ask God to give you the ability and he will.

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Now when you do this, though, one of the things that we didn't talk about last week, it's important, is that forgiveness will start as a decision. It starts as a surrender to God. God, I agree with you. I'm wrong and it starts there. But it then often involves a process. Why? Because full forgiveness of a serious wrong or, you know, done to us is seldom one time thing.

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I would like to say that I've forgiven someone. I would like to say I forgave them and boy, it's gone. You know, we know this even by experience. All right. How many of us would say somebody has wronged us in a serious way? They've done real harm towards us. We struggle with anger and forgiveness. Some of you, probably all of us.

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Right. Okay. That's okay. How many of you would say that there's somebody who's wronged you and you knew that you needed to forgive them, and you struggled and you decided to forgive them, and you thought you did. And then you see that person unexpectedly and you get angry, or they do something and you get angry and and you thought you forgive them.

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But next thing you know, you're responding in anger. How many of you guess? Pretty much all of us. We all know what that's like. I know what that's like. And I don't know about you, but there are times that I'm sitting there and saying, I thought I forgave that person, and I'm like, I'm angry. And where did that come from?

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You know, if I forgave him, why am I still angry? Here's what we need to realize. A lot of times, these wrongs that are done to us, they're deep debts. They're things that are buried deeply in our heart. And a lot of times what can do is we can forgive what we're aware of. But there may be levels and dimensions of that anger that we're not even aware of.

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And I don't know what I would sometimes feel like. I thought I forgave them, and suddenly that anger is coming back. Here's what I want you to see. I don't think that's the same anger. It's actually a different layer of the anger you weren't aware of. It's it's this process. Let me use this illustration. You know, the Bible speaks in agricultural terms all the time.

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So think in terms of a field. You go to a field and you got this, you know, this empty field and you want to plant something there, but it's covered with all kinds of rocks and weeds and and so what do you do? Well, you clean it all out. You clean the weeds. You clean the rocks. You take these big rocks that are on there.

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You haul him away, you know, you home, you know, across town, and then you plant a field. Then you have something grow. Well, living in Northeast Ohio, you can if you do any farming at all. You know that when you go out to the next year to that field in the springtime, what are you going to find? A bunch of weeds and rocks.

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And you might look at the rocks and say, I thought, I hold all these away. Who brought them back? You know, where did these rocks come from? Are they the same rocks? No, no. What happened is that if you have a really bad field or a lot of rocks, not only on top of the field, but a lot of rocks in the ground, and if you haul the rocks on top of the ground away, then are in the course of the winter, you know, the tempered temperature change pushes the rocks underneath the ground up.

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Now there are different rocks. And here's what I want you to realize. Those rocks would have never come up until the top layer was taken off. It's only when the top layer is taken off that they can be pushed up, but then if you hold those away, you have a better yield from your harvest. And. But guess what's happening next spring?

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You got more rocks. And here's what we've got to realize. That's a picture of what happens in forgiveness. There have been times that I've thought, you know, and a deep wound and I've thought, I forgive and I hold all the rocks that I could see away. And, God, I forgive them. And I thought, I have. And then something happens in the spring and suddenly there's more rocks.

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I get angry again. And it's not the same anger, it's actually God exposing. Now the wound was deeper than you realized. And now that you hold that away, now I can bring up this deeper layer. It's. And I'm going to help you deal with this deeper layer. And, and and if you deal with that you ground is actually healthier than it was before.

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And and you might need to deal with it again and again. And don't get discouraged by that. You're not alone in that. And and it's not that you haven't forgiven. It's just there's a process. And I want to tell you, there are people that have wounded me the most, you know, my wife and I, and I think I forgave them.

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And there's some people out. All I can say now is I think I've forgiven them as best as I know how, because I've been surprised by so many times where the rocks coming up. Then I, I want to be open to the fact that there might be stuff hiding, but God help me to see that. And I cannot get the deeper level until I let God, first of all, take away the things that I'm aware of.

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So if I do that, then what does it look like? What does it look like if I've done that now? If you've really forgiven someone, you've released the debt you feel they owe you. You know, again, why do we struggle with this? Because we we sin, man. They owe us. And and and I don't trust God to set it right.

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That's really why we why we hold anger. I love what it says in Romans chapter 12, verse 19. Beloved, never avenge yourself, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, vengeance is mine. I will repay. Says where? It's in the context of talking about forgiveness, and it's saying, here's what you need to do. If somebody has wronged you, God's going to do a better job setting it straight than you will trust it to him.

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Now, do we do that? No. And the only reason that I hold on to anger is that I look at God and I say, God, you haven't taken this right here. Let me take it back from you. I'm going to set it right. And forgiveness means God. I'm going to trust it to you. You said justice. I'm going to not only release it, I'm going to release it to you.

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And then if I release it to God, instead of now needing to get him back, I can be kind. And so the next verse continues to the contrary. If the enemy's hungry, feed him. If he's thirsty, give him something to drink, for by doing so you'll heap burning coals on his head. I can show kindness, and when it talks about burning coals, what he happens is sometimes people are angry and they expect you to get angry.

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They want you to be like them. And when you refuse to. And no, I'm going to be kind to you. Going to. They can get frustrated, but God can also use that is as burning coals of purification to convict them of their sins. Now God has called us to do that. And now when we do it, what? There's some things it does.

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It doesn't mean that we unconditionally forgive and we restore the relationship. No, it doesn't mean we trust the person. It doesn't mean that we continue to allow them to, you know, to hurt us, exposed to hurtful behavior. No, it's unconditional release the debt, but not restored relationship. At that point. But here's what it does mean. We release them from any debt.

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We release the anger instead of giving them what they deserve. We treat them kindly. And here's the point that I think a lot of us are going to struggle with. If we have truly forgiven that first level, we will always be open to forgiveness. At the second level, we will be open to a process, a possibility of reconciliation.

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If they ask for forgiveness, we will be open to that. If I have truly forgiven someone at the first level by releasing the debt that I've owned me, I will be open some reconciliation for the simple reason. It's not that God is saying enough is forgiven and forgotten and you know, go back beforehand. Go. There is a process.

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There is a consequence. But the fact is, if they have wronged me, I will be open. And here's the reason. And I've talked to people who will say something like, oh, I've forgiven them everything, but I can never cancel. I can never be their friend. I could never have a relationship with them all. When you're saying that you're deceiving yourself, you're lying to yourself because the fact is, you haven't forgiven them.

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At the most basic level because you're still holding on to the punishment. You're saying, because you've done me, you know, I will release this level, but but I'm going to still punish you by never having a relationship. I will continue to see you by the mark of where you failed in the past. You haven't forgiven. And forgiving at that conditional level means that you will be open to the possibility of unconditional forgiveness, of restoration.

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God calls you to forgive them, and that means he calls you to be open to the possibility of restoring the relationship. In fact, I will go beyond that. It means not only that he will be open to the possibility, but that God calls you to pursue that, to actually take the initiative, to try to fix the relationship.

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Again, look at what Jesus says in Matthew chapter five. He says, if you're offering your gift at the altar and there, remember that your brother has something against you. Leave your gift there before the altar and go first. Be reconciled to your brother and then coming off your gift, Jesus is saying, hey, this is really important. Even I interrupt your worship and go deal with this and take the initiative.

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God calls us to do that. So what is this that we're talking about? The nature of this uncon or conditional forgiveness? Again, a deeper level. As I said, it's seeking to restore a relationship that was broken by sin. And again, it can happen when the offending party is willing to admit what they've done wrong and ask for forgiveness and to understand how this all works.

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Let's go back and think about God's forgiveness of us again. We've been at we've been called to forgive as Christ or God in Christ has forgiven us, we're told. And again in 14 and 15, in Matthew six, if you forgive others, you heavenly father will forgive you. If you don't, he won't forgive. You. See the basis of our this conditional forgiveness is God's forgiveness of us.

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It's God's forgiveness of unconditional, unconditional. But we seen there's a there's an element of both, right. On the one hand, there's unconditional. Jesus is at the cross and saying, forgive them, for they know what what they do when we think about God's grace for us, it's unconditional, isn't it? When we think about Romans five, we're told that Jesus died for us while we were still sinners.

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Why? We were acting as Jesus enemies. Grace is a free gift. It's undeserved. Ephesians 289 for by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not of your own doing. It is a gift of God, not the result of work, so that no one can boast. It is a gift of God. We don't do anything for it.

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So on the one hand, God's forgiveness is completely a gift totally unearned, unconditional. We don't do anything to earn it. But on the other hand, we realize that not everyone has a relationship with God because there is a condition. It is a gift that is offered. But we have to receive the gift. John 112 for to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

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We have to do this to have this relationship. The Bible is clear that part of what receiving is confessing it means acknowledging our sin, asking for forgiveness. So we. This should be Romans ten nine. If you if you confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you'll be saved.

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We need to confess. Okay? But then we say, okay, what if you've accepted Christ? Okay, I've asked Jesus. I've accepted that gift. I've confess my sins. Some people would say, well, once I've done that, well, he he forgives all my sins. Past, present, future. I'm good. No matter what I do. Here's where I want you to remember. All what we're looking at is in the context of the Lord's Prayer.

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And the Lord's Prayer is what Jesus is teaching those who are believers, followers of God, who had a relationship with God, what what we're called to do. It's to people who have been accepted by God through faith in Jesus Christ. However, it's still calling us. Even though our sins are forgiven the still, we still need to confess our sins daily because while we have a relationship with God that cannot be taken away, he is our father.

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Where's child? Our level of enjoyment of those blessings of that relationship can be impeded by unconfessed sin. Sin can cause division in our relationship with God. It's throughout the Bible. Again, let's go to first John. In first John, it's talking to believers and it's just talking about, okay, if you, you know, you have faith in Christ Jesus Christ as you from all sin.

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But even after we sin or after we believe in Christ, we still sin. We all do right? First John one eight if we have say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves. The truth is not in us. So we start then. So what should we do as believers who still sin while we have this relationship with God? This gets in the way.

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So it tells us if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. This is to believers. It's saying to believers that we have to confess my because when we we have a relationship with God, but when we continue to sin, that relationship is in a sense impeded.

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We understand this in human relationships. So let's say you're a parent. You have a 16 year old child and and you know, they, you know, they've got their driver's license. Hey, can I go out? Yeah, I can go. You can take car. You can drive responsibly. You know, Curfew's at 11:00. Well, they go out and 11:00, they're not there.

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12:00, you know, 1245 they come, you know, stumbling in way after curfew. And, now what happens the next morning, if not only at night? Is the relationship broken? Did you disown them? If you say you're not my son anymore? No, it's it's still a father son relationship. The relationship is intact, but the enjoyment of that is broken.

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There's some blessings and privileges. You're not going to have the car for a while. You're going to lose a lot of pleasures. And there's. There's a cloud over the relationship. There's tension there. And so you don't disown them. But again, you there's a problem, there's something broken and there needs to be repentance. And part of that repentance is, boy, I'm sorry.

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And there's consequences and there's certain time that you're going to have, you're not going to have a car. You got to return the trust. And we understand that. So you see, in the same way in our relationship with God, he is our father. But this is what takes place, that we still go out and do things that are wrong.

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And as this child, we are forgiven. And our relationship with God isn't broken in any way. But there's distance and God doesn't want us to live in distance with him. He doesn't want us to live with that, that broken relationship. So he says, confess your sins on a daily basis. Remove any hindrance so that you can be close to me.

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See, the Lord's Prayer isn't talking about an unbeliever praying for the forgiveness of sins. It's saying that as believers, we need to do that. We need to keep short accounts with God and that's the basic principle. But then Jesus comes back and when he says in verse 14, if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly father was to forgive you.

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But if you do not forgive others for trespasses, neither will Heavenly Father forgive your trespasses. What he's saying is, out of all the things that will cause division between us and God, out of all the things that will hinder that relationship, a heart of anger and unforgiveness is top on that list. God's saying, if you don't forgive others, then you're going to come down and there's going to be something between you and me.

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If there's if you allow to be conflict between you and another person, then God saying, I'm going to, there's going to be a conflict and a distance between me and you. And until you deal with that conflict and forgive, we're not going to be right. This is hard, though, isn't it? How do we forgive in that way? You know, because again, I can really a that but to really then start relationship again and but again look at the power.

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Look at the context of where this is all being taught. It's all the Lord's Prayer. And what is the Lord's Prayer? It's all teaching about our dependency on God. You see, what would we say, God, give me this day my daily bread. God, I need your provision to be able to live life. I need to eat to do the things that I need.

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God spiritually. What I need the most is forgiveness. God, give me forgiveness. Forgive me my debts because I can't do that on my own. I need your grace. And then when we pray, as we also have forgiven our debtors, it's likewise a petition where we're acknowledging our dependency on him. He's teaching us to pray. You know, God, I couldn't earn my forgiveness for my sins.

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And I come to you in total dependance, and I ask you to forgive me not based on what I've done, but as a gift of grace. And now that I've been forgiven. In the same way, I need the ability to forgive. See, the Bible as teaching that we are is dependent upon God for the power to forgive others, as we are dependent on the forgiveness of our sins from God.

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And he's teaching us to pray, God, you know, you know, knowledge that people from me, I hold this and and I don't have the ability to forgive them and myself. And I'm asking you to give me not only the ability, even even the desire to forgive. It starts is a choice that we have to make. And it's a choice.

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It's not easy. And then and then we go through that process. And in fact, you want to see even here how it's not easy and you have the whole Lord's Prayer. Jesus repeats one petition, just this one about forgiveness, because he knew this is going to be the one we're going to struggle with the most. This is tough and God knows it.

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If you're struggling with it, you're not alone. If you're like me and I think about even in my own struggles, I can remember a time, you know, that I was struggling with somebody that I had really, you know, you know, wronged me. A couple people that really did great harm to me, to my family in a lot of different ways.

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And, and, you know, God's struggling and God's I feel like God saying, you know, you know, you need to forgive them. You need to release the debt. And, and I remember even God saying, bless those who persecute you. Pray for my blessing. Well, God, I can pray for the blessing, but you got to humble in first.

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You got to break them. You got to learn me get them. You know, and, and and, you know, God was like, what if I don't do that? Well, no, it'd be better if you do, you know, because I want you to expose them. And I felt God whisper back to me, okay, think about all the things that you've sinned against me.

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Do you want me to expose your sin and humble you in that way before I forgive you? It's like, oh, that hurts. And then I continue to struggle and I persevere. Yeah. You want me to forgive and but but I can't. I can't really restore them. I can't really trust them. How do I pray for God's? How do I pray for your blessing?

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And again, I felt God praying when he says, you know, forgive, forgive me my debts as I forgive my debtors. I felt God say to me, what if I forgave you and bless you? And proportion of the same way that you forgave others and sought their blessing? And that hurt. But I can't restore the relationship. But God comes back and says, okay, what if your ability to restore that relationship will define how close I can be to you?

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You see, that's what this prayer is all about. And you've got to see. It's tough. Now, there is a conditional element to this. We talked about the conditional side of unconditional, you know, or the process of conditional forgiveness. And we talked about the process with unconditional, you know, digging up the you know, the things. And here's here's what we've got to it starts with a decision in the same way.

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But most cases it's a process. And here's why is we're talking about restoring relationship where there was broken trust, where there was not only hurt feelings, but where there was, you know, there was betrayal in some way. And what you've realized is somebody can come by, I'm sorry, and they can acknowledge that. And but it doesn't mean things are going to snap back to normal.

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And while things may be forgiven, there are natural consequences to sin. And you actually see this throughout the Bible. And so in our relationship with each other, I may forgive, but there are consequences. So let's say, for example, let's say on a marriage and there's infidelity. It's not like, okay, the person says, well, hey, I agree with you.

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I'm sorry I cheated on you. I'm sorry. It doesn't mean that the marriage is back to where it was. It begins a process of restoring, a process of forgiving. Why? Because there is a consequences. So part of confessing means that I not only agreed that I did what was wrong, but I agree and see it properly. And so confessing is that I not only cheated on you, but I ruined our trust.

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I did this, I a child, when they come back and and I not only kept the car out all night, but you know, I broke trust and I did this and I broke all these rules and and so confession means that we take ownership, not only of what we did, but the consequences. And so part of forgiveness means that, okay, I take ownership.

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And there is a process then of saying, how do I begin the process of building trust? And you know what I've seen? I've seen marriages, I've seen incredible relationships where this incredible betrayal and God completely put it back together. It takes time and it's hard. But are you willing to start the process? Are you willing to do that?

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And it does mean downplaying the seriousness of sin. You have to acknowledge it to be forgiven. It doesn't mean forgiven, forgot. Forget it. That means in practice, it's often denied. Ignore means no. We recognize this and we deal with the wounds that were caused. And we we engage in the process of rebuilding trust. But it does mean that we work towards it.

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Now, the Bible in this teaches how important it is. In fact, let me go back and just say you want to understand how important it is. There's warnings. If we don't do this, the warnings not only in this passage but throughout, you know, when Jesus talks about, you know, if you don't forgive, neither Heavenly Father forgive you.

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It's in fact, let me look at just briefly, consequences. How about unconditional forgiveness? What if you're unwilling to forgive and release the debt? Look at what it says in Matthew 18. Matthew 18. So incredible passage where talks about this. You know, the master forgave his servant 10,000 talents. And the servant was unwilling to forgive and and then at the end of that parable, it talks about, you know, the master in his anger, his master delivered him over to the jailers until he should pay all his debt.

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And so my heavenly Father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. Now, let me ask you, is that uncomfortable that God is going to do the same thing to you? He's going to hand you to the jailers. What in the world does that mean? That's pretty scary. And here's what I want you to see.

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Well, actually, let me go to another verse that I help think help explain it. We looked at this last week, Ephesians four. Don't be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. Give him no foothold. Literally, don't give him a place in your heart.

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So here's what happens. If we're unwilling to forgive, we actually give Satan a foothold in our life, in our heart that he expands on and that anger there's incredible. I wish I had time to, you know, there's credible amount of research that I don't have time to get into today, but it just talks even physically about the physical impact.

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If you repress or dealt with anger of repressed hostility and and it hurts us, I mean, literally, it destroys our life, it destroys relationship. The consequences are incredible when it says handing over to tormentors, it doesn't mean that God's going to send you to hell if you don't forgive it. That's not what it's saying. It's saying anger will destroy you.

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You think that you're hurting the other person. You're not the other person. You're really hurting yourself. And I've seen people, even believers who are consumed by their anger. And it does incredible damage to relationships, to them physically, to all kinds of things. And that's the warning here, you know, deal with it. Because if you don't, I mean, the impact is incredible.

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Well, how about conditional forgiveness? Well, what if we don't do that? Well what is the warnings here. Well, again we have it right in the, in the passage we're looking at. If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you. You know what I want? That I want God's forgiveness. I want close relationship with him.

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But the warning is, if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will you. Heavenly father, forgive your trespasses. If I don't do that, there's going to be a broken relationship. That's not going to be fixed. I don't know about you. I just I don't want that. That's a warning where God says, okay, is it difficult? Is it hard?

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Yes. But if you want a relationship with God, then this is the path to do it. If not, there's going to be something permanently stuck between you and God until you deal with this. Well, look what it says in Hebrews. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God, that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

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Do you want the grace of God in your life? I do, and what's this warning? I can fail to obtain the grace of God. I can miss the grace of God. I can miss it. And now this is to believers. But I can miss God's grace in my life. Why? Because I have a root of bitterness. It springs up.

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I have unforgiveness in my life and I miss God's grace. I miss and I don't get, you know, but you can argue what those things and God gives warnings of saying, okay, these are the things that can keep us from experiencing that intimacy with God. It's that important. Just briefly, an ending. Okay. Then some of us might sit there and say, well, okay, I'm open to it.

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If they come and they they acknowledge and they ask for forgiveness. And, you know, I'm going to sit back and I'm going to wait. Okay, well, when does God call us to take the initiative? I'm sure if you look at the Bible, he always calls us to take the initiative. If you are aware of a problem between you and another person, you know, God isn't saying, hey, sit back and wait.

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He's saying, no, take. Step out, take the step, initiate it. In fact, Matthew five we read a moment ago, look what it says again. Matthew five 23 if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you. It's not that you've done something right. They they have something against you.

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They think that you've done something wrong. And if you remember it there, then leave your gift, there before the altar and go and be reconciled to your brother. And then coming off your gift to God. We're called to do it. If the other person thinks he has a problem with us. But what if it's not them? You know, if you have a problem with them, well, look.

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Look at Matthew 18. If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If you listen to you, you have gained your brother. So. So whether we are the offended or the offended party or offending party, we're still called to do it. And part of that is when we go and do that.

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Well, there's an openness in saying, okay, here's where you do that. And if there's offended, you know, they are they willing to repent. Remember the plank in your eye. Look, be open to where you may have contributed to the problem, but God has called us to do this. I love Second Corinthians. 515. This is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.

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We have been reconciled back to God. He has fixed our relationship and now he's called us to say, you do that with other people as well. Lastly, great verse, Romans 1218 if possible, as far as it depends on you, live peace of way with all men. I love that because I may seek to restore relationship. I can't do everything.

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There are some people if they're unwilling to confess and aren't willing to repent, unwilling to take ownership. I can only fix it so far. So if possible, as far as it depends on you, I can unconditionally forgive. Release the debt. But there are times that as far as it depends on me. Hey, if they're not willing to forgive, if they're going to hold back, I can make the effort and I can be open.

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And God calls me to constantly be open and desiring for that. But at the same point, that's why I say, okay, God, I'm going to turn it over to you. As much as it depends on me, I live at peace with all men. Now, my friends, I let me I it's been done a ton of scripture. I know I've kind of run through things here today and there's so much in here, but I hope you see the importance of this.

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I think I said, what is this calling to us to? We are people who have been forgiven, who are called in response to that forgiveness, to now forgive others. Why not only out of faithfulness and, you know, responsibility, but because we need to. And if we don't that literally, we we become, you know, tormented by our own anger that God wants a relationship with us and we're not going to lose that.

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You know, he's our father. He's. But you know what? As a father, he's going to come back and say, but if you don't forgive your heavenly father who still has a relationship with your father, he won't forgive you. There's going to be a hindrance in that relationship. You're going to miss the grace of God. You know what? I hope that each one of us, and I don't want that.

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And as hard as forgiveness is, as much as we may struggle with that and be open to that process, I want to tell you, it's hard, but there's an incredible blessing on the other side. There's an incredible blessing. And if we don't do it, there's incredible consequences. This isn't to make anybody feel guilty. It isn't to beat you, to beat you down.

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It's an invitation because you might sit there and say, I don't know how to do it. But again, remember, it's all the Lord's Prayer. It's all God. All we need to do is be willing to come and say, God, I know you're calling me to do it. And please give me the desire. Give me the ability, my friends, if you're willing to come and just surrender to God and say, God, give me the ability.

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You know, we sing songs about God doing miracle. We believe on a miracle. Another miracles happening. And I tell you, one of the greatest miracles that God needs to do in most of our lives is this work of forgiveness. Are you willing to surrender to God and say, God, here's my need, here's my miracle. Change my heart, change this relationship?

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And if God does that in your life, man, we have a chance to celebrate because God is going to do some powerful things and he's going to use that as an incredible testimony. Not in a way in your life, but even for those around you.

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