The Pillar of Forgiveness

January 12, 2025
We'll learn about the essential role forgiveness plays in our relationship with God and others, the difference between unconditional and conditional forgiveness, and how letting go of anger and bitterness can lead to spiritual and emotional healing. Join us as we explore God's call to forgive and find freedom and peace in obedience to His Word.

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We're going to be starting a new series this morning, and I feel like I need to take a moment to introduce it. Why we're doing it. For those who've been around our church for any length of time, you know that it's usually my practice on Sunday mornings to go through a book of the Bible systematically, or a larger section of Scripture, and it's expository preaching, and that's what I usually do.

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I seldom will do more topical series. This is all a bit more topical. And although each week we're going to be looking at and diving deeply into a particular passage. But it's it's something about where we feel God calling us as a church. We're calling it pillars of community. And, now to explain that when it first came to the church about 16 years ago, the elders would meet together once a month and we would just kind of discuss the business of the church, the things that have to be talked about.

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And after talking about it, some we committed to a second meeting each month where we specifically focused on a prayer and study and reflection. And, and the reason is we believe that that as elders, we are not ultimately the head of this church. We believe that Jesus Christ is the head of the church, that he's the chief pastor, and that we are, in a sense, under shepherds and our ability to lead is going to be defined by how well we listen to him.

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We have to work to faithfully know and then follow Jesus direction for the church. And so part of that commitment of meeting that extra week was to study the Bible and say, what were those principles? And and how do we hold ourselves accountable to them? And from that study, we we developed our church mission statement, you know, kind of the summation of of who we are.

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We believe that God has called us to be a church that seeks to know Christ, his life changing power to make him known. And we felt that had to be something short, memorable, that that people, you know, that you could member memorize and say, this is what defines us, but even it's why we made it short, memorable. We realized that it doesn't describe everything that the Bible tells us to do, and so we felt we needed a larger, longer or bigger document that that went into greater detail about the various priorities taught in the Bible.

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And so over the course of a number of years, we developed a list of core values. And if you were to see them, I mean, they're filled with Scripture, and they not only describe what God has called us to do, but in ways that we actually hold ourselves accountable. And as elders, we review that on an annual basis.

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We say, how are we doing? How are we doing with each one of these? And and we make decisions about direction based on those core values. But because that list was longer and, you know, had all this accountability, again, it's something we don't talk a lot about. Many people, you know, say, I've never seen those. And, and, and so based on some conversations, we've taken those core values and we've simplified them down to seven concept, seven big ideas that we're calling pillars of community.

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And, and you heard them just read a moment ago the seven pillars. Again, these are these, these values that we have that are at the core of who we are. We've got believe. God has called us to be a community where we worship together, where we pray together, we fellowship together, we testify and all that. That means we disciple and we seek to be discipled.

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We we forgive, and we're a community that seeks to serve. And what we're going to do over these next couple months is we're going to look at each one of these one week at a time, one each one at a time. And each week we're going to look at a scripture that explains it. Now we're going to start this week.

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And what out of order. We're going to start with forgiving the pillar of forgiveness. And and a lot of that is because of the passage we're going to look at, actually grows from the Lord's Prayer, which we've just been talking about. If you're, again, if you're a part of our church, you know that we've just finished a series of the Lord's Prayer, and that's in Matthew six, verses nine through 13.

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And this morning we're going to really focus on not only this morning, but next week, verses 14 and 15. In Matthew six, they're the verses right after the Lord's Prayer. It's actually an explanation where Jesus is expounding on what it means when he taught us to pray, forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven our debtors. Now, as a church, we usually start off by saying, this is the passage we're going to look at, and I'll read it to begin, in the Lord's Prayer, I've asked you to read aloud with me as a way of kind of memorizing the Lord's Prayer.

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And so since this kind of concludes the Lord's Prayer, I'm going to ask you to read with me. Now, I know the Lord's Prayer, but these two verses right after. So please join me. Matthew six, starting in verse nine, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

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Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. And here's the part right after that. For if you forgive others, their trespass is your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your heavenly father forgive your trespasses.

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May God bless the reading of his word. Let me pray. Father, thank you for the privilege that we have to come together this morning. Father, to dive into this, into this passage. Thank you for the things that are here, for the way that you're teaching and challenging me. Father, I pray that you would now bless our time, that you would bless our study.

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Father, I pray that your spirit would speak through me in spite of me. That if there are things that are my opinions, I would lost. And father, I pray that each one of us that are here would have hearts that are open to not only understand, but father, to apply where you may challenge us this morning. I pray for some healing.

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I pray for for the resurrection power to be at work in people's lives. We pray in Jesus name, Amen.

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When we were in November, we were looking at the Lord's Prayer and and the part where Jesus taught us to pray, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.

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And at that time, we saw forgiveness is a really hard thing to do. But part of what makes it hard is it's also hard to understand. And, and it's really a very, very complex issue. And in fact, we're going to see that as we look at this and that. In fact, we've got to spend two weeks on it because I can't explain it in one week.

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So if we go back to the petition where Jesus taught us to pray. It raises some hard questions. Look what it says in verse 12. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And the question is, when Jesus teach us to forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors, what is he teaching us?

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Clearly, he's teaching that there's some degree of that our forgiveness by God is somehow related to or connected to our willingness to forgive others who have wronged us. And if that's not at all clear, Jesus makes it even more clear in the passages we're going to focus on the next couple of days or Sundays because, he continues, it expands that for if you forgive others their trespass, your heavenly father will also forgive you.

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But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will you, heavenly father, forgive your trespasses. So what is he teaching? Again, clearly there's some relationship between God's forgiveness of us and our willingness to forgive others. But what is it? And then we're going to see. Is there some really hard questions that this passage causes us to race?

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The first is, is our forgiveness by God in some way dependent upon our first for giving other people? I'll start by saying it's I think it's very clear in the Bible that Jesus is not teaching that for you to be forgiven of your sins and to be able to have go to heaven, that you have to do the work of forgiveness in addition to trusting Jesus Christ that would disagree with everything that Jesus taught it would disagree with the rest of the Bible.

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There's a connection, but it's not that. So when he says in verse 15, if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your father forgive yours. There is some connection. There is some sense that if we're unwilling to forgive, there's something that is under there's a result in our relationship with God. And we're going to look at that, especially next week.

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We're going to really dig into that a lot. But there's also other questions that when we think about this, that come to light. Am I called to forgive only those who have acknowledged their sin and asked me for for my forgiveness? Or do I need to forgive everyone who has sinned against me? Is it unconditional where I forgive everyone or just those who have asked?

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What about the person that hasn't even asked for forgiveness and they're still hurting me? Do I need to forgive them? If they're still betraying my trust, should I forgive them? What does it mean? You know, if that. If I come back and and they say they're sorry, and they continue to do the same thing again and again. What is the forgiveness God is calling us to?

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And now, here's maybe the most challenging question, because when it says that we're to forgive as God has forgiven us, what is the nature of God's forgiveness? It's the nature of God's forgiveness towards us, conditional or unconditional. If God's forgiveness is the foundation and basis for our forgiving of others, does he forgive everyone unconditionally? What if he only forgive and response to someone else what someone else does?

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First? And I'll tell you, that's not an easy question. And even as I've looked at this and read different scholars and pastors and they struggle with this and not everybody you know, says the same thing. And I think part of the reason that the more I've studied this and reflected on it, I think a huge part of the reason is that forgiveness is an incredibly complicated idea, and there's actually two different dimensions or two different types of forgiveness.

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And part of the confusion is that we take these two ideas. They're clearly related, but they're also distinct in a way. And and if we take these two ideas and we meshed them together, that's where the confusion comes from. So first of all, there's one aspect of forgiveness that is unconditional. At one level, God has called us to forgive everyone who has wronged us unconditionally.

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We're called to forgive people regardless if they have have admitted that they're wrong, or if they have asked for forgiveness. And we're forgiving everyone in a sense, even if they continue to harm us. And the Bible teaches that, for example, you walk in and Luke chapter six, Jesus said, but I say to you, who here love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who persecute you or curse you, pray for those who abuse you.

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And I'm called all of my enemies. I'm called to do good and ask for God's blessing and to love them in this way means that I've released my anger. Any desire for justice, for what they've done. I can't do that unless I've forgiven them. And I'm called to do that unconditional. Well, how about God's love? What's God's love?

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Well, there's some times where the Bible seems to speak about God's love unconditionally. I think the most powerful example, as you see in Luke chapter 23, Jesus is on the cross. And while people are in the process of mocking him, of torturing him, look what Jesus said, father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. Forgive them while they are torturing him.

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And so there's a sense that we're called to forgive unconditionally. But here's what I want you to realize. That's one level of forgiveness. If there's not been confession or repentance or asking for forgiveness, then we can only forgive at a certain level. We can only go so deep and we're not called to forgive them fully at the deepest level, because a deeper level of forgiveness is one where we're, called to forgive those who have asked for our forgiveness.

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It's it's it's conditional. See if it can, on this level, can only be granted when the other person has confessed their sins and asked for forgiveness. And we're going to see what that is in a moment. But there are places where the Bible clearly talks about conditional forgiveness. So, for example, look at where it says in Luke 17.

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Pay attention to yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. He said, if he sins against you seven times in a day and turns to you seven times, saying, I repent, you must forgive him. Who are we called to forgive? Those who repent. Those who ask for forgiveness. And there passages in the Bible that speak about God's forgiveness of us and conditional basis.

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So, for example, first John one nine, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. There's the condition if we confess, meaning if we don't, that doesn't happen. So how are we to put all these ideas together? Again, there's two levels of forgiveness. And how do we understand this?

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Well, let's start again with the first level. In November, when we looked at what Jesus was teaching us, when he calls us to pray, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. We saw that that the issue of forgiveness and anger is an issue of a debt. In fact, Jesus Jesus uses that word debt. Forgive the debtors.

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Under conditional forgiveness, releases the person from the punishment and debt that we feel is incurred by their sin. A person has wronged us, so we feel like there is a debt of justice. We feel that there's some kind of payment that has to be made to to make things right. So our anger is a kind of of revenge.

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It's a kind of punishing a person that's doing so. And how do we do that? We hold on to this is what you've done, and I hold on the right to punish them. And sometime, either now or in the future, that I'm going to do this to cause justice. That's often expressed by not only our action, but our anger and our resentment or hatred toward the other person.

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Now, the first level of forgiveness, unconditional forgiveness, is releasing that person from that debt. And God calls us to do that for everyone who has wronged us. But the second level forgiveness, conditional forgiveness includes everything. And the first one we have to do the first first. But there are times that it goes beyond it, because it's when then a person is willing to admit that they're wrong and ask for forgiveness.

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This conditional forgiveness seeks to not only release the debt, but also then seeks to restore the relationship that is broken by sin. You see, it's not just releasing the debt that the other person owes. It's now saying, okay, this relationship is broken and I'm going to seek to restore it. And God calls us to do that. God commands us to do that.

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When there's repentance or asking for forgiveness. This is so important to understand, though, because I can tell you, in my experience as a pastor, I've seen so many people struggle with with the idea of forgiveness because they they confuse these two ideas. So, for example, you know what? Someone totally understands unconditional forgiveness. They say God's called us to forgive everyone.

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Let's say, for example, it's a woman who's involved in a marriage and and her husband is both unfair, faithful and abusive. And she believes that God calls us to forgive unconditionally, but without limit, so that it's not only forgiving and releasing the dead, it's seeking to restore relationship. So every time he's caught, you know, I'm sorry, you know, I'm sorry.

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And, you know, maybe he doesn't even say that, but it's like, well, I just need to forgive him, and I need to stay in this marriage. And and as a result, she continues to be the victim of betrayal and abuse. See, that's not what God has called that woman to do. He's called to release the debt. But unless there's repentance, you can't restore the relationship.

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Now, on the other hand, let's say someone understands the idea of conditional forgiveness. And they said, well, we should only forgive those who have confessed and repented. So let's say they've grown up in an abusive home and and let's say the parent has passed away and they can't confess or repent or where they've never acknowledged what they were doing wrong, or someone has wronged you and they've never apologized.

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Now that person thinking all forgiveness is conditional, will continue to live with a heart of anger and hatred and unforgiveness toward the other person. Thinking it's okay because God hasn't called me to forgive the unrepentant, and because they're unwilling to release the debt of the wrong, they live in anger and resentment. That's not what God has called you to either.

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You see, there is a place of unconditionally forgiving everyone who has wronged us, and that's separate from seeking to restore. Now, because it's a complex issue, I'm going to only have time and the rest of our time this morning to deal with the first dimension of forgiveness. Unconditional forgiveness. And I want to acknowledge that. I realize that I'm now opening a can of worms that I'm not going to try to close this morning.

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And so, to abuse the word picture, I've opened this can of worms and, and the worms might be squirming around in your brain for the next week, and, and and I'm sorry about that. Come back, come back next week. I'm going to try to gather the worms and close it properly. Okay? And but I acknowledge that it's just.

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But it is a complex idea. And one of the most difficult parts is what we see in verse 14. The conditional element of God's forgiveness. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your father forgive yours. We're going to look at that next week, but you got to come back next week to hear that. But let's spend the rest of our time this morning looking at the first part.

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God's call for us to forgive everyone unconditionally. As I said earlier, for us to understand what we're talking about here, we have to realize that our anger and unforgiveness Bible describes as a debt, and therefore unconditional forgiveness is a releasing a debt that we feel that the other person owes us. That's the nature of what unconditional forgiveness is.

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Releasing a debt. Jesus taught us to pray. Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. He puts it in terms of a debt. Forgiveness is also explained that way in Matthew 18. When we looked at this passage back in November, we dig deeply. In Matthew 18, it's the parable, the unforgiving servant. This the servant that owed a debt of 10,000 talents to his master can never repay it.

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And the master forgave him, released the debt. But then then he was unwilling to release the debt of 100 denarii. And so it's described in this passage numerous passages as as a debt. Why? Because when a person wrongs you, in a sense they've taken something from you, there's a loss. The vast majority of times it's not a matter of money.

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You have a loss in pain and suffering. You have a loss and traumatic events and traumatic memories. You have a loss of reputation or or you lost an opportunity that you're never going to get again. Or maybe you had dreams in your life of what family was going to be like, and, and and you've lost those dreams. That person has stole that from you.

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It's a real debt. It's not a monetary debt, but it's real. And you feel it and you feel that the other person owes you the liability. What are you going to do now? Here you have two options. One, you could say you wronged me. You have a debt and I'm going to try to make you pay. And so that's what out of anger, we try to have revenge.

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We try to have justice. We try to make them. We're out of time, you know? We can gossip about them, we can slander. We can do things that are mean. We're cold. We're a lot of times we just kind of. I'm going to hold the IRA, you know, you I'm going to pay you some interest and be cold to you.

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But I'm going to look for opportunity. I'm going to hold this over you. Then I'm going to try to get you. And so we try to make them pay. Or the other option is we release the debt. You see, simply put, anger is holding on to the debt. It's seeking the right to seek payment. And, and forgiveness is releasing the debt.

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And when we forgive, we're not only releasing the debt. There's a sense that we pay it ourselves. Why? Because we're saying you hurt me. You caused me loss. It doesn't deny that it actually to forgive. You have to actually, in reality, acknowledge the fullness of the cost, the pain that was caused. But instead of insisting that you repay, I'm going to just absorb it.

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I'm going to I'm going to absorb that loss. I'm not going to punish you. I'm going to release it. That sounds hard. And it is hard and actually even gets more difficult when you look at what the Bible teaches, because it's not only that God calls us to do that, but who does he call us to forgive that way unconditionally?

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If I Bible squirts everyone, everyone who has wronged us, the extent of that forgiveness is anyone who has done anything wrong to you. Ephesians 432. Be kind and compassionate to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other as God and Christ forgave you. There's no condition there. We're called to do that to all. Lord, we saw earlier Luke chapter six, Jesus teaching I say to you to here, love your enemies.

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Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who abuse you. We're called to love those who are in the process of hurting us. There's no condition. These aren't people that have repented or they ask for forgiveness. They're actually people that may still be trying to harm us. And we're called to forgive by releasing the debt that we feel that they owe us, and then to treat them with kindness, with love.

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And that doesn't mean that we seek to restore the relationship. You know, we have to do the first part. We only do the second part if they are willing to acknowledge. And we're going to get into that next week. But often we'll say, but, but I'll forgive if they confess if they ask for repentance. And the Bible is quite know we're called to do this, all of it, unconditionally, towards all who have wronged us.

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What if they haven't, you know, repented or sought after? Well, then again, I think of Romans 1218. It's impossible as fire depends on you. Live at peace with all men. I can't do the part of restoring the relationship. We're going to see that again next week. But I can unilaterally say, here's the debt. I release it. I'm no longer going to hold it against you.

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I can't restore it on my own, but I can unilaterally decide to forgive. But you might be thinking hard world due to this. How do I forgive the unforgivable? Don't you know what has been done to me? Don't you know the scars that I have? Well, what's the foundation of this forgiveness? You see, the whole message of the Bible is centered around the fact that we were separated from God by our sins.

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And there was nothing that we could do to fix this relationship. And the whole story of the Bible is about God making a way for us through the death of Jesus Christ, paying the ultimate debt, paying in the debt of our sin at the cost of the life of Jesus, where he took our sin and punishment upon himself at the cross and offers us forgiveness for sins.

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Ephesians one talks about this great truth in him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. We are people who have been forgiven. But it's not only that we, through faith in Christ, have our sins forgiven, but if we understand that the result should be as people who have been forgiven, we then learn to forgive others later in that same book, Ephesians four, Paul makes this point where he says, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God, and Christ forgave you, as you know how much you have been forgiven.

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Now we're called to forgive in the same way. So the church should be a place where we not only proclaim the theology of forgiveness, and we apply that theology where we say, okay, God's grace is there, and no matter what you've done, God's grace, God's sacrifice is greater than all your sin. You can be completely washed clean, believe that you have been forgiven.

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But it's then also taking that and saying, if I believe it, the church should be a place where we forgive those who have wronged us, not because they in any way deserve our forgiveness, but because our fault. As followers of Jesus Christ, it is the result of us understanding what we have been forgiven by him. And yet it's still extremely difficult.

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In fact, I'm going to say that it's still beyond our ability. And you might be saying, I can't forgive that person, I understand. No, you can't on your own, but that's why it's in Lord's Prayer. That's why we see in the petition Jesus teaching us to pray, forgive us our debts as we also forgiven our debtors. He's not saying you should do this, you know.

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You know, you've got to put up a new self. Make yourself forgive. What he's saying is, no, we need to come to God and we need to say, God, I have this anger and I can't forgive. I don't have the ability. And he's teaching us to pray for his grace, to give us forgiveness. We do not have love that we do not have.

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And as we surrender our our anger to him, he will give us forgiveness that is not of ourselves. And yet still, how do we forgive who have wronged those who have wronged us, those who haven't confessed? And again, forgive us as Christ. As God through Christ is forgiven. You look at the attitude of Jesus Christ. Remember what he cried out at the cross while he was looking at the people who were in the process of crucifying him?

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Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. You see, we all have our own stories of betrayal, of hurt, and you might be thinking, it's impossible for me to give them that. That husband or that wife that was unfaithful. The damage that they've done, it's impossible for me to give that abusive parents or the, you know, that family member.

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It's impossible to forgive that person who hurt and wronged my son or my daughter, you know, how can I forgive that the church leader that that abused their position or the person that lied to us and that did such great damage? You know, over the years, I've met numerous people who have shared incredible stories of betrayal and abuse, and there are truly some awful stories.

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And how can you say that? I need to forgive? And I say, Look at Jesus Christ. When he was at the cross, there was no one coming and saying, Jesus, I'm sorry, no. They had this perverse degree as they demanded his death, crying out, crucify him! They were saying they were passing by hurling urn insert insult and mocking him for his claims.

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There was no remorse, there was no asking for forgiveness. They were in the process of acting in hatred, torturing him. And yet his response is, father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. God calls us to forgive, and when we think about it, this call, why does he call us to forgive? Because Jesus is the example.

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Yes. And and because it's an act of obedience. Yes. And but there's even more than that. There's something even deeper. When you look at everything in the Bible that it says, we're called to forgive because we need it for our good, for our benefit. It's been said that for that, anger and unforgiveness is like an acid, it always does far more harm to the cup that is held in than any one that we want to pour it on.

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And that's true. And see, we're called not only to do this, our obedience to Christ, but because we need to do for our own health and benefit. I think of Ephesians four, where Paul says, be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. Now when you look at this, what is the result?

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If we don't forgive, we give an opportunity to the devil and the translations talk about it. We give the devil a foothold in a sense, if our if if our forgiveness is if we don't forgive, if we have the anger that's still there, it doesn't go away. Oh, we miss it well and we bury it. But the fact is, it's it's buried in our heart and it grows slowly and it will in time lead to sin.

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It's like a cancer that you may not be aware of, but the fact is that cancer is growing and it's causing great damage and destruction. This is something that I see in counseling, and any counsel will tell you the same thing. The most common root of all the problems that we deal with are repressed anger. And a lot of times someone can come in, I've got this problem and it may seem totally unrelated, but then when you start talking about what's your problem?

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Well, it's a lack of self-worth and marriage problem. It's depression, a host of other things. But often the root is on repressed or it's dealt with anger. You know, you get angry at other people and you blow up. And I don't know why he does that. Well, you have a problem with someone else you've never dealt with. It's buried.

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It's a cancer that's doing destruction. You have trust issues with other people. Well, you know why? Where does that come from? If there's cancer that's growing and it's and it's causing great destruction. And so we need to deal with this and we need to deal with it now it's not like, okay, well, I can carry this for a while.

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What does the Bible say? Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Why? Because it's a cancer. Don't let it fester. I mean, if you go under the doctor and they say, well, you have an a really aggressive cancer, it's like, oh, I don't want to deal with it now. I mean, would you do that? Well, if they do surgery?

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And they said, well, we got most of it, but we left some. And you're like, no, take it all out. I mean, you don't leave cancer in your body for it to grow. And spiritually this is a cancer that Satan will use to to cause incredible damage. So how do we deal with this? What's this look like? And and let me just close kind of presenting a picture of what this actually looks like in practice.

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And I'm going to go to Romans chapter 12. And we could spend a whole week just on Romans 12. It's a great passage, but, but it talks about the call to bless those who persecute you. You know, God calls us if you've forgiven someone, that you can actually pray for God's blessing. You won't know if you've forgiven someone.

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If you're angry, can you pray that God blesses them? If you can't, you probably have anger issues. He continues in verse 17, we pay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all, if possible. As far as it depends on you. Live at peace with all men or with all.

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Repay no one for evil. For evil. What is it saying? Forgive and forgive. And the repayment? The justice. Let it go. Release the debt. You don't have to pay them back. And when we do, that is possible. As far as it depends on you. I can't live at peace with all men on my own. That's the restoration, I, you know.

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But I'm not called to try to punish them. Only God can change the heart. I'm called to say God as much as possible. My my heart is willing. My heart is willing to try to bring healing. But then what can I do on my own? I can forgive, I can release, I can do that unconditionally, regardless of where the other person is.

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But then we say, but, but there's has to be. Justice continues in verse 19, beloved, never avenge yourself, but leave it to, to the wrath of God. For it is written, vengeance is mine. I will repay, saith the Lord. Why do we not want to forgive God? There's got to be justice. It's got to be truth. It's got to be set right.

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Let me ask you a question. Who's going to do a better job establishing justice? You are God. And probably everybody says God. And if you really are honest, looking at your own heart, you probably say, me. Why? Why do we have anger? Because, I mean, if God were to strike the person dead, I'd be great. I'd be like, God, you take care of it.

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But I'm looking at it and I'm saying, God, they wronged me and I don't see justice. So because I don't trust you, I take it upon myself. That's what. That's what anger is. That's what unforgiveness is. That's saying, God, I don't trust you to make things right. So therefore I'm going to take that upon myself. I'm not going to let it go.

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I'm going to I'm going to reserve the right to pass that the judgment that you're not doing. See, part of this is trusting God. And it's saying God, yes, they have wrong, but I trust you. I leave it to you. And if I leave it to you now, I don't have to set it right. I don't have to get the other person back.

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So what happens? On the contrary, if we're enemies, hungry, feed him. If he's thirsty, give him something to drink for. By doing so, you heap burning coals on his head. And so if I don't have to get them back, I can be nice to them. I can be kind. I can show them kindness instead of giving. They're just reward on the on the opposite, I can give them what they do not deserve.

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That's what I talked about in Ephesians 432. You know, be tenderhearted and kind, compassionate to each other, forgiving each other as God in Christ has forgiven you. It's that kindness. And you know what? When we show that kind of kindness, it stands out. It's a testimony even like current burning cause it people, people who are angry, they don't understand when you're not angry back and it's a conviction and God can use that to change somebody's hearts.

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But are you willing to do that? And I love how it's summed up in verse 21, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good, because what happens when somebody wrongs us? And it's like, oh, I've got to get revenge, and I've got to hold it back. And we've been overcome by evil. The thing that we hate has changed us to be more like it.

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The person that we hate, resent has made us more like them, because now they've wronged us. And we we have to. We have to set it right. We have to act like they do. And it's God says, no, don't be overcome by evil. Instead, overcome evil with good. Actually release the debt. Ask for the ability to show kindness and grace towards the other person.

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And and you know, what will happen is that sometimes in that showing grace, people won't know how to deal with it. And that may be the thing that leads people to saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Because sometimes you have these incredible stories of forgiven us that are so powerful that have to be noticed. And they actually change people's lives.

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Some of us hear those stories from time to time. How can you forgive? Something is terrible. Not only what? How can you forgive somebody who who killed us, you know, killed a family member, an undeserving, innocent family member that took innocent blood? How could you forgive that? Story that some of you might remember from 2018? There's a Dallas police officer named Amber Grier who entered the apartment of a man named Barthelme Jean, and she fell, fatally shot him.

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Dyer's apartment was on the third floor, and, Jean's was on the fourth floor. And she said in her testimony that she came back and she accidentally got off the wrong floor. And went into his apartment, think it was hers, and saw him there thinking it was an intruder. And he she was a retiree, or she was a police officer, and she shot and killed him.

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And this made national news especially even more. It was a white police officer killing an unarmed black man. And and it led to all kinds of protests and riots and communities erupted in anger. And and yet in the midst of that, you would think the people who had the most right to be angry were the family members of this man, bottom Jean.

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I mean, you know, they had so much to be angry with. While the woman was put on trial, she was found guilty. And at the end of the trial, the last part was the family sharing testimony before sentencing. And usually that's the family member coming up and talking about this was how wonderful the person is and expressing their anger.

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And we want justice. And that's what everybody expected, because outside people were protesting in anger and hatred. And yet bottom's brother knew forgiveness is a follower of Jesus Christ. And he knew how he had been forgiven. And he was not only someone who understood forgiveness, but he understood that God therefore called him to forgive. And he responded in true grace, compassion, and forgiveness in a way that actually made national news.

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You might remember part of the story that changed people's hearts and lives. Rather than telling you what he said, let me show you if you truly are sorry. I know I can speak for myself. I, I forgive you and. I know if you go to God and ask him, he will forgive you.

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And I don't think anyone can say it again. I'm speaking for myself. Not even bad for my family. But I love you just like anyone else.

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And. I'm not going to say I hope you rot. And I just like my brother did. But I, I, I personally want the best for you. And I wasn't going to ever say this in front of my family or anyone, but.

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I don't even want you to go to jail. I want the best for you. Because I know that's what. That's exactly what I would want you to do. And the best would be give your life to Christ.

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Because I'm not going to say anything else. I think giving your life to Christ would be the best thing that both men would want you to do. Again, I love you as a person.

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And I don't wish anything bad on you.

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I don't know if it's possible, but okay. Can I give her a hug, please?

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Please.

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Yes.

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Absolutely. That's powerful. That's the power of the gospel. The power of forgiveness. I want to tell you, I've dealt with numerous people over the years that they've been victims of crime. And. And some of them couldn't forgive. And their whole life is defined by and polluted by that anger. And yet you have someone who lost his brother terribly in a terrible event, and yet he is able to look at that and say, I know I've been forgiven.

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He's able to look at Jesus Christ and say he forgave those that were torturing him in the cross, and he forgave. And when he forgave, instead of being controlled by the anger, he was set free. It was not only a incredible testimony for a wonderful thing to that young woman. It was not only incredible testimony, it his life is going to be defined by the end.

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Yes, there's still scars. There's still the brother that's not there, but he's not controlled by it. My friends, we've got to look at it and realize that there are many of us that have things that have anger, that in our heart that we maybe we bury. We try not to think about, and we are just not willing to let go.

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Well, they haven't repented and they don't deserve it. And yeah, they don't. But God calls us each to unconditional forgiveness, to releasing the debt of all who have wronged us. And if you're sitting there saying, I can't do it, I don't have it in myself. Remember, that's the Lord's Prayer. Come to God and say, God, give me what I do not have.

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Give me the ability to forgive me. Give me the ability to love. And when you do, you see, it's not only that. Forgiveness. I release the debt. But now you have even this young man. Can I give her a hug? Can I show kindness? Can I show love? That's the mark. That transformation that we're no longer controlled by our.

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Our need to get justice. But we actually instead, now we're able to show kindness and love to those who have wronged us and harmed us.

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You know, earlier, go right before the message we sang resurrection power and dry bones rattling and God can do it again. And he can do it again. See, this is one of the greatest miracles that God needs to do in many of our lives. One of the most difficult miracles, this anger that that can so deeply be so deeply rooted and control us and define us.

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And we're willing to say, can I bring that anger? I bring the dead, these dead bones. And, God, I ask you in the power of the resurrection to do it again and to give me forgiveness, the ability to forgive, and the ability to love. And God can do it. Are you willing to let him do it today? Who willing to let him work in your life in that way?

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God wants to do some miracles and I hope you will. You will surrender to him and let him do that. And, that's the first start. We're going to look at the second part of that miracle next week, and I look forward to that as well.

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